Lost Purple Heart
by khrVariaLover
Summary: Murasakibara never knew of love. He wasn't never interested in relationships or anything but his snacks. But his heart tells a different story when tragedy strikes. [Murasakibara x OC]


**Now that KnB manga is finally over, I thought put another KnB fic just for it. I know many of us will surely miss the manga. However, as we keep KnB close to our hearts, the fandom will live on.**

**::DISCLAIMER:: I do not own this wonderful series.**

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><p><em>"Love. It's like a delicate flame. And once it's gone, it's gone forever." -Mr. GoldRumpelstiltskin, OUAT_

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><p>How could this happen? He never meant to do it. Not on purpose. He just wanted to be left alone and not be bothered with practice. He hated practice. It was tiring. It was boring. If he was left alone about it, then maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't have slip through his fingers. It wasn't fair. Why does this incident the one that made him realize he has fallen for her hard?<p>

She's gone and he could never see her again. Not ever. He was stupid. If he hadn't changed _him_ then maybe... just maybe she wouldn't have run off and got in middle of a crossfire... and dying... alone. What has he'd done? It's all his fault. The one he's in love with died without him telling her how he feels... He never meant to have her leave his sight. Never.

He never thought it would hurt so much. Why would anyone want to feel this way? It's painful. He was never interested in anything before. Nothing. Just his love for snacks and sweets. It was all he needed. He's good at basketball, yes. However he only likes winning next to his love for sweets and junk food. Pocky was the one thing that drew his attention to _her_. His dream. His future. The most beautiful person he ever lay eyes on.

She was constantly on his mind. The time they spent was too short. Two years wasn't enough. She made his life worthwhile. Meaningful. His closest friend. His best friend. She tolerated him. She puts up with him. She was willing to spend time with him on their days off. She even tutored him on his worst subjects. Always treated him his favorite food, even know how to make it.

He doesn't know what to do with himself. Atsushi deserves to be called the fool. The giant idiot. Never again he can ever interact with her ever again. He lost her forever. He knows it. How can Atsushi face him? Atsushi felt such a failure as a person and as a basketball player. He doesn't feel he has the right to stand among them. The Kiseki no Sedai. He's a murderer. Yes, that's what he constantly thought to himself.

Atsushi Murasakibara will never be with true love again. Words left unsaid of feelings he never knew he had until it was too late. His heart growing cold. Breaking into two. A void. Shattering pieces. She meant the world to him. Never able to apologize to her. Of how she means to him. Atsushi will never get the chance to say these little words: _"I love you... Mits-chin."_

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><p>It was the first day of school at Teiko Junior High of their first year when they met. A destiny intertwine. Fate. Atsushi Murasakibara and Mitsuki Akashi happens to be in the same first year class, a fate that can be too cruel. He loves sweets and junk foods and was never been seen without munching on them during breaks. She is never seen without her notebooks, always writing something in them. Both loners with intense auras shrouding them, making it impossible for others to approach the two entities.<p>

Lunch was nearly over when Atsushi came back into the classroom. He sighs as he wanted to buy more junk food before lunch ended. With sudden strange fate of luck, Atsushi notices a box of pocky on a desk not far from him. He couldn't help but walk over to that pocky desk, only to find the box empty. He would have been sadden if he haven't spotted the pocky stick in the corner of his eyes. Without thinking, Atsushi ate the pocky stick and ironically kissed the soft lips the pocky stick was hanging out with as well.

Atsushi pulls back, licking the crumbs away, only to find himself staring down a red-head girl with heterochromic eyes glaring back at him in utter horror as if she's about to scream. Atsushi fails to notice the red-head girl was blushing furiously while keeping her cool murderous demeanor. It's not like he cares for small details like those. Atsushi smiled his goofy lazy smile as he licked his fingers and lips from crumbs, ignoring everyone around him and the hell that seemingly to have frozen over.

Atsushi couldn't help but notice that he finds himself increasingly staring at Mitsuki from time to time. Ever since that day with the Pocky incident, Atsushi couldn't stop thinking about her and her soft sweet-tasting lips. Those lips was delicious and sweet and he wants to taste them again. He wanted a reason to taste those lips of hers again. Any kind of reason, but he's a lazy type of a thinker. When club activities recruitment rolled around after school, Atsushi was ecstatic to find out Mitsuki is going to be one of the Teiko Basketball Club manager.

Atsushi started hanging around Mitsuki, hoping to mooch off sweets from her, since that day. Mitsuki got so irritated with it she ended up starting to make lunch for him that included all kinds of sweets. Atsushi was please with it and teases her by stealing a bit of her lunch from time to time with his lazy happy smile. Mitsuki pouts and scolded him every time he does. The titan somewhat didn't mean when she does as long he can spend more time with her, hoping to steal those sweet lips again someday.

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><p>Atsushi cries in despair. Crying in silence. Teeth grits. Hiding his pain. So much to bear. Memories of <em>her<em> are too agonizing to bear. No one to comfort him. His heart frozen in ice. Left to wonder if he had told her he loved her, would it make a difference? Any difference at all? So many questions ran across his mind. He would never find the answers. It was too late. Who knew it would hurt so much for just loving someone.

Shintarou slap Atsushi on the back to get him out of his dazed depressed state. "What the hell are you standing around for, nanadayo? Akashi's back from the hospital. Let's go. He's waiting for us."

Atsushi nods his head sadly and follows Shintarou to the club room. There in the club room are Daiki, Satsuki, Ryouta, and Tetsuya when Shintarou and Atsushi arrived. There in the back of the club room stands Seijurou talking to the coach quietly in their usual gloomy monotone faces. They can feel the heavy gloomy air lingering in the club room.

"Akashi. We're here. I believe you have a reason for calling all of us here?" Midorima announced their arrival.

"Yes," Seijurou said in his authoritative voice. "Mitsuki have pulled through the surgery and is now resting in the hospital."

Everyone sigh in relief, glad their captain's younger twin sister is alive. Atsushi's heart felt lighter as if a brick was lifted from crushing it further. Mitsuki... Mitsuki is not dead. She's alive with them in the world of the living. Atsushi's so happy to hear of that piece of good news. He can see his beloved once more. Tetsuya looks at Atsushi, noticing the purple-hair basketball player's odd behavior.

"However," Seijurou continues as everyone immediately drew their attention to him again. "She is in intensive care momentarily. She will remain at the hospital for a while until she her wounds heals fully stabilized without the need of intensive care. Then she will undergo observation and rehab."

"Wh-When can we go see her?" Satsuki asked in a scared voice.

A frightening silence follows Satsuki's question. Everyone too scared to move a muscle, afraid Seijurou will strike his wrath upon the room.

"In a few of days when she's completely stable," Seijuro finally answered. "I tell you when it is alright to visit. If you try to seek a visit behind my back, I assure you. There will be consequences."

Everyone gulps at those words. They all knew not to take Seijurou's words lightly. Their captain meant every word. And this is his younger sister they're talking about. They all knew how protective he is of her. As expected from the model scary-ass overprotective older brother. No one would ever dare to defy him, except maybe for Haizaki. But everyone knows he literally never learns. Poor guy... Maybe.

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><p>Atsushi stands by the door, nervous to be anywhere near Mitsuki, Tetsuya standing next to him. Daiki sits at a corner of the hospital room with an annoyed glum angry-like face. Kise stood at the foothead of the bed, restless from full of worry. Satsuki and Seijurou sits on either of Mitsuki's hospital bed. Shintarou stands behind Seijurou, arms crossed in his usual calm and collected posture. Satsuki squeezes Mitsuki's hand softly, her sad worried expression clearly written over her face.<p>

"Mitsu-chan.," Satsuki sniffs sadly, her eyes clearly bloodshot from all the crying. "You had us s-so worried. What if it had been T-Tetsu-kun?"

"..." Tetsuya looks at Momoi. "Momoi-san. I'm really not that special. And I promise you it won't happen."

"B-But you don't know that!" Satsuki cries. "I-I-It can happen to any of us. It's f-frightening to think about i-it."

The room fell silent again at those heavy words. Everyone understood Satsuki's words holds true. They may be still kids, but it can still happen to any of them. That is the cruel reality of it all. And it scare the living shit out of them, knowing all that fact.

"H-Hey... We don't need to talk all this depressing stuff, you know." Ryouta broke the heavy void of a silence, trying his best to put on his best face in order to lighten the mood. "Let's throw her a welcome back party once she comes to school. Right?"

"R-right! If that's alright with Akashi-kun." Satsuki's voice cracks a little, all eyes wryly turns on Seijurou.

The long pause feels like an eternity before he finally spoke. "I will think about it. For now, I believe it is time for all of you to go."

Everyone files out of the room obediently. Atsushi stares back at Mitsuki's bedridden body sadly, unable to form words the entire time. What can he say? Why was he here? He doesn't deserve to be here. Atsushi slouches sadly as he walks with the others out of the hospital.

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><p>A few days has passed since everyone visited Mitsuki in the hospital. Atsushi decided to visit her alone on a sunny, cloudless Sunday. He had no plans that day and it may as well be his last day to see her, resolve firm. Atsushi places a hand on Mitsuki's cheek, caressing it softly, and bit his lips from quivering. He leans forward and places his forehead on hers, eyes closed.<p>

"I love you, Mits-chin," Atsushi whispers in her ears, a single tear drops on her cheeks. "I'm sorry for everything."

Atsushi kisses Mitsuki on the forehead and stood up slowly. Atsushi pets her head, staring at her lovingly, remembering all the moments he spent with her. Precious memories he'll lock away in his heart. Reluctantly, Atsushi turns around and walks away, hoping he wouldn't break along the way.

Mitsuki subconsciously twitched her finger a tiny bit and softly called out Atsushi's name. Atsushi stop at the door, eyes shadowed, and smiles weakly. Someday... someday he will be worthy enough to be with her. To stay by her side forever if she lets him. He will never let any harm come to her. Never again would he want to hurt his beloved again.

"I will be your shield... I will never leave your side no matter what... I promise... Mits-chin..." Atsushi left without looking back, facing the future head on.

_Hey Kuro-chin... Do you think she will feel the same about me? Do you think Aka-chin will allow us to be together? What if she rejects me like all the others? She might hate me now after what happened._

_Kuro-chin. I'm scared... I'm scared for the first time in my life. Does that sound stupid? I-I don't know what to do anymore._

_'No... I don't think that's stupid at all. I think it's natural to feel that way. Once she wakes up, do your best to tell her how you feel about everything.'_

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><p>"<em>My grandfather told me that I mustn't take off my mask. My grandfather said my face isn't like a normal person's, I'm sure I have a very strange face... I'm sure I have a face like a monster... Please don't look at my face. I don't want you to hate me." - Clear, DMMD<em>

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><p><strong><em>AN: This took me a long while to write, mostly cuz I dunno what to write next and I was jumping around with the story. Plus writer's block, I was lazy in finishing my one-shots and multi-chapter fics again, and life ._**

**_~note ~_**

**_OUAT = Once Upon A Time_**

**_DMMD = Dramatical Murder_**


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